


The Angel and the Serpent

by Fallynleaf



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Falling Angels, Free Will, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-24
Updated: 2014-08-24
Packaged: 2018-02-14 11:10:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2189457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fallynleaf/pseuds/Fallynleaf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which a Falling angel falls in love and makes a choice without Free Will.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Angel and the Serpent

Gadreel did not know at which moment, precisely, he fell. It was a gradual thing, really. A downward descent that was more of a glide, soaring dizzily aloft for a short while with such a great pressure building in his chest he thought it would hold him up forever. Until it didn't.

Because Gadreel was meant to follow orders, and sometimes, those orders faded a little with the distance. God was less of a direct presence in his life than an omnipresent thing, like the wind, all wrapped around him and diffused to the point of effectively not being there at all. But the Serpent was there. Tangible and dripping honeyed words like venom from his fangs.

And it was easier, maybe, to listen to the Serpent than to follow the same path Gadreel had been treading since the start of eternity. Because Gadreel could not remember why he followed those orders, only that he had been following them for a very, very long time. And maybe that was the beginning of it all: asking the question of _why_.

Because after that, Paradise was never quite enough. A Paradise without purpose was a meaningless one, in the end.

Before conversing with the Serpent, Gadreel had never spoken much with the other angels. He was a guard, and by necessity, his post was a lonely one. But then, before conversing with the Serpent, Gadreel had not been conscious of loneliness. Of absence.

That was why Gadreel first turned towards Abner, in the Beginning. He was conscious of something missing, but did not know what, only that the experience of missing it at all was an unpleasant one.

And so he turned towards the nearest angel in ache of something that could fill a hole that he had not previously been conscious of. And maybe that was the first moment he began to Doubt. Because God would not have created unfinished beings, and yet, Gadreel knew that he was incomplete.

He did not know when the feeling changed and became its opposite. When it became an overflowing of _presence_ instead. And maybe Gadreel confused it with the Presence of God. Because it was something Good, of this he had no doubt, and all things Good were God's doing.

And so one day, Gadreel looked to Abner, and saw that he was beautiful.

And he let himself bask in the warmth of Light and Good that emanated from the feeling, from seeing Abner. And the more he did so, the less he thought about God and the less he thought about following orders, because a different magnetism grew in his grace, now, pulling him in its own direction, and Gadreel did not need any being to tell him that it was Good, because he knew by his own will that it was so.

And so one day, Gadreel looked to Abner, and said _I love you_. He did not know the words, but he said them in other ways. And Abner looked back, and said _I love you_. And for awhile, that was enough, and Gadreel felt something that mortal beings would call Happiness.

But the feeling only continued to grow, and with it, the sense of Absence grew in turn, for Absence was the dark shadow of Joy and Delight and Love, and in the wake of one, the other would inevitably follow.

And so one day, Gadreel looked to Abner, and knew that loving from afar would never be enough.

They came together slowly. Or maybe it was all at once. Gadreel stood to leave his post, and then Abner was there, all warmth and Light and Love and Good bursting from him like rays from the sun, and Gadreel flew towards him and let their energies meld together, and that was the first and only moment he felt complete.

So full of Abner and so full of Love was Gadreel, he did not turn to stop the Serpent from entering Paradise at his post.

And so Gadreel allowed Happiness to enter Paradise. But along with it, the Serpent brought the shadow of Sorrow and Pain, and Gadreel did not see the latter two until they were all he held in his own heart, alone in prison with Abner and Love.


End file.
